3 Ways to Make Your Relationship Even Better
Is it easy for you and your partner to talk to each other, even about what may seem like simple things? If it is, chances are, your relationship is in a good place, and your connection is strong. If this is not the case, these little moments of silence, like a couple sitting together at a restaurant and starring at their food, may be signs of some stress or tension in your relationship. If these signs aren’t addressed, the result may grow into a snowball effect that ends up tearing many couples apart.
Every day, you and your partner make efforts to connect with each other, what John Gottman, the creator of Gottman Method Couples Therapy and the author of the newly released “What Makes Love Last,” describes as “bids” for connection. Gottman and his colleagues viewed thousands of couples to see what the masters of relationships, couples who stay together and genuinely love being together, were doing to maintain the strength of their relationships. He also recognized the patterns of couples who ended up in disaster, breaking up or staying together miserably. Gottman included many gay and lesbian couples in his studies, and the results were almost entirely the same, regardless of sexual orientation.
HOW CAN YOU HELP SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
If you and your spouse or partner are aware of these “bids” for connection, and purposefully respond in a way that both recognizes and accepts each others’ efforts, you’ll likely thrive in your relationship together. The first step, according to Gottman, is:
- Be aware of making “bids” yourself, and when your partner is doing the same
- Recognize what you need, and invite your partner to tell you what he or she needs
- After you share what you really want with each other, commit to making these dreams realities
SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES
What do you enjoy doing most with your partner in your relationship? Are there challenges you face where what you both want seems to be at odds? Share your experiences with us, and share this post to friends or family who you think may find the information helpful.